


I will be there

by Blerhg



Category: Punisher (Comics)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-24
Updated: 2020-11-27
Packaged: 2021-03-10 07:35:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,471
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27699742
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blerhg/pseuds/Blerhg
Summary: Sometimes what we want to do is not what we get to do.
Relationships: Frank Castle/Original Character(s)
Kudos: 1





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry for any mistake that can happen. I'm more than happy to hear your thoughts and recommendations.  
> Hope you like it!

### How it started and how is it going

I met Maria while at university, she wanted to be a teacher and I wanted to be a nurse if the process didn't get to kill me. She was so damn clever and funny, god, I still wonder why we became friends. We were like day and night, with nothing in common except our taste in food. We got to know each other thanks to a fight over who would get the last piece of cake in the cafeteria. We quickly became best friends and started to go everywhere together, some even thought we were dating but she swung the old way while I was in the middle of the road waiting for a car. It was surreal how well we understood each other, only a glance was sometimes all it took. Our friendship was strong but we tended to clash a bit too much; especially the last year of college when we had to think about what we were going to do with our lives.

\- I don't know why you still put up with me - her face is covered in snot due to a nasty case of flu -

\- That's my line and you know it - Maria smiles and I touch her forehand softly to check her temperature -

\- It's so convenient you're almost a nurse - I roll my eyes and make sure to wrap her better in the fuzzy blanket while _Friends_ plays on the tv -

\- Yeah, yeah. We always have this conversation when you're sick - Maria hums and looks at me like she remembered something important -

\- What are you gonna do when you finish this semester? - I bite my cheek hard and take a bit of skin tasting blood -

\- I'm thinking about joining the military. That way I could pay all my debts - Maria frowns worried and I look at her seriously - I can't pay my debts without being a stripper.

Obviously, the fight was postponed until she was feeling better. Then it happened and, **oh boy** , was it bad. The worst fight I had with her in years, probably the worst I ever had to this day. She was all about the risks and the chance of me not returning but, seriously, I didn't have any more family and no way to pay the university debt in less than forty years. No new nurse could work without an internship and I didn't get high enough marks. It was that or resigning myself to some cheap ass job at McDonald's or something similar. We shouted and to my surprise, she was the one to point to the door.

\- If you want so badly to get killed, then go. I'm not going to stop you, but don't expect me to be here for your return -it was a low blow and she knew it. She knew it because I never cry unless truly upset and guess who was crying -

\- Okay - I answer painfully calm -

\- Carmen, wait. I didn't mean it like that! - Maria follows me to my room where I'm packing my things - we are friends, you know that. Right? I just don't wanna hear later that you died out there! - I stop packing and sigh hurt -

\- I know it's dangerous and that my life will be on the line. I already thought about it, hell, I'm scared to even think about it. But what else could I do? - Maria hugs me and I cry on her shoulder -

\- I'm sorry, I know this isn't easy. You already have two jobs to pay rent and get by the year. I should have thought before speaking but I don't want to lose you - I hug her tighter -

\- Make me some brownies and call it a deal - Maria snorts and I chuckle -

* * *

Two months later I hug her goodbye and get on the plane that took me to Afghanistan. My knowledge becomes so large that in the end, I worked more as a corpsman than a real nurse. 

My first rally took up to 18 months; time enough to make my soft body became muscle and my hands steadier than steel even with gunshots nearby. The blood is something always under my nails and I don't care. Getting deployed for three months is weird but welcomed. Maria is excited to see me but she is more impressed than anything by my change.

\- You look so mature and so hot. It's not fair - I raise a brow. This woman, seriously -

\- You are the hottest new teacher in the university, I don't know why are you so upset - she hugs me tight and I answered the hug smiling -

It was nice to be back, to get wasted and see some old faces that are not shouting for help. It's on one of these nights that I get out with a couple of friends from my university class that I meet Frank Castle.  He was also in the military but he enlisted two years before me. He was huge and so fucking impressive, one of my friends was nervous to even look at him but I was used to treating a man of that size or even bigger so I near him with a smile.

\- Excuse me- he turns around and looks a bit surprised to notice I'm kind of tall even compared to him- could you order me a beer? It's too packed to even reach the bartender- he nods and quickly gets me a beer. I pass him the money and shakes his head with a grin- 

\- Ma’am, it's on me. You were the corpsman that saved my friend Billy a couple of months ago- I tilt my head remembering and gasp. So Billy Russo was his friend- 

\- Oh! Russo. He's nice but unnerving, one time he spooks me and I almost stabbed him with a pair of scissors- the man nods laughing- 

\- So you're also the scissors girl, nice to meet you. Frank Castle- we shake hands-

\- Carmen Giménez, nice to meet another soldier. Speaking of, are you alone?- I check around him, what makes him kind of chuckle - 

\- Well, I lost them when they wanted to enter a strip club- I grin- 

\- Well, you can come with my friends and me. They'll probably ask you about why you are so huge but they mean well- this gets out of him a big belly laugh- 

\- Sounds good to me- he joined our group and we hit it off since then- 

* * *

When Frank and Maria got engaged I cried so fucking much because I could be a godmother and gosh, that was something I thought I would never have. Domestic life in the Castle's house was pure bliss when I got to experience it. Frank and I got in some rally together; when one of us was in the states we made sure to protect the family as it grew. 

I was such a good godmother. I spoiled Frank Jr and Lisa a lot and took them to amusement parks, fairs, museums, and even karts. The last trip we made to the karts was with the five of us, we had a blast. Then I got the call telling me of the shooting in the park and everything went to hell. I became a workaholic and even the military made me step back one whole year off the field which meant that I started to learn new hand-to-hand combat techniques with Russo who was deployed a couple of months. In that time I learned that the strange feeling I had about Russo was true and stopped seeing him as much as I could.

* * *

This brought us to the present where I'm hugging a soldier that cries for his mother. I tried to comfort him softly while the drugs do their job and take the pain away. I rocked him gently as the blood pools around us, I can't do anything except for trying to comfort him. When he passes away, I carefully close his eyes and put on his tags to then send them to his family.

Lately, we have been losing many people to dirty fights in too small hallways. One fact is the multiple scars that scatter my body, many of them still tender. One shout and we retreat, apparently the mission has finished but I can't get the heavy feeling of my chest. I go to my tent and take off the gear and then take off the tags; as always I keep one and the other I send it in a little letter that I tried to make as heartfelt as possible but I'm unaffected by the loss. I've lost everything that made me happy, now I don't have anything to lose.


	2. Chapter 2

### A mess and a half

My discharge with honors comes when I get blown away by a grenade, losing hearing and my left leg in the process. And so, I entered the little apartment that I bought after the death of my family, it was covered in dust and with effort, I cleaned it and aired it to take off the nasty smell that close spaces get to have. Then I make my bed and sit down on the sofa, closing my eyes tiredly.

The box of photos next to the sofa makes me think of Lisa and Frank Jr, feeling an old pain. I had three years to internalize the loss, now it's not searing pain but still hurts. I go to the shower and look at my prosthetic leg, it's the ugliest piece of metal that I have ever seen; although better than what I was offered out of the military. Maybe I could try to work in a hospital, after all, I have enough experience. I clean myself of all the grim thoughts and meditate a bit to clean my head of dark thoughts. I decide to eat dinner out and because of this, I encounter one of my old colleagues from uni, something that is too much of a coincidence to be one.

\- Carmen? - I turn around not really sure from where the sound comes. The characteristically handsome face of Steve, the clever guy from Physics - my god, how are you doing? - I smile and hug him happily - 

\- Steve, how are you? I heard you opened a company? - he nods and responds to the hug -

\- It has been more than 3 years since we hear about you - I cringe a bit and he noticed it - Did something happen? - I nod -

\- Can we talk about it over dinner if you're not too busy? I also want to know how you are doing - he nodded smiling and offered me his arm. I'm completely sure he hasn't noticed the peg leg -

\- It's nice to see you. Has it really been 3 years? - I think and snort - 

\- Maybe more. We just never seem able to meet, I don't know why - Steve shrugs - 

\- Let's take this opportunity then - I giggle - 

\- It's nice to see you haven't changed one bit, Stevie - he laughs rolling his eyes - 

\- I can't believe we met because you entered my class searching for a bathroom - we enter a dinner that Steve recommends, he loves the milkshakes - 

\- Tell me, is there any miss Smith? - he shakes his head and shows me his hand -

\- Why? Are you going to ask for my hand? - I smack him -

\- Thank you for the offer but I'm good. I was discharged one month ago, I still have to wrap my head around it - Steve searches my face smiling with fondness - 

\- I still see the same girl that got to be a corpsman and wasn't able to win at Uno - I smile weakly -

\- Well, maybe now I'm older and slower than before but yeah. I'm pulling through. My scars are pretty cool too - he smiles - 

\- I missed this - he makes a gesture to refer to us talking - it has always been nice even if we only see each other every eclipse - I snort and nod smiling - 

\- More like thinking of a way to pass exams while still going out - he laughs remembering -

\- In the end, we managed - the food arrives. It smells fucking great - 

\- True. What is your company about? - he smiles and hands me a business card - oh. Interesting. I thought that you hated teaching people stuff - he shrugs - 

\- Using my words against me, aren't you? When I said that you were being a little shit and you know it - I smirk - 

\- Yeah, true. It seems interesting, in my case I'm still thinking about what to do. I was thinking about working in a hospital but who knows.

\- You can always come to work with me, like in the old times. You whining because there wasn't enough coffee, me whining because I was hungry... - I look at the table chasing the memory - When you called me in the middle of the night I almost had a heart attack.

\- I needed help. Maria told me to let it go but fuck, I wanted a second opinion - he nods - 

\- I get it.

The food tastes incredible. The conversation continues light and easy like has always been with Steve. It has become a good night, which I'm thankful for. Steve answers a call from work while I drink my milkshake. I really wish to return to a routine, not having anything to do is horrible.

I look around the dinner. It is decent enough, although not the top tier. I like it a lot. When looking at my reflection in a dark window, something moves. I blink. What was that? I squint my eyes. I see the movement again. Is it a cat? No, it is too big to be a cat. 

Full of adrenaline I left the table. Maybe someone is in danger or need help. Once in the dark alleyway, I search for the same movement as before. Again. I move silently and see a man. I hit something and then he turns around. It can't be. I look at the face trying to know if this is a hallucination or not. When the face frowns irritated I know for sure it’s real. Frank Castle.


	3. Chapter 3

### What remains

Frank Castle is alive. How or why it's not the point. He's alive, and by the looks of it, wounded all over. He stares at me for a couple of seconds before trying to run away. 

\- Frank, wait - he frowns and squints his eyes. He can't really see me, so I take my phone and use it to show my face. This makes him freeze - don't run away from me - he studies me with a glance. I'm sure he notices how stiff one of my legs is or the scar that crosses my cheekbone -

\- Carmen? What happened to you? - I can't form words. This is too much. I cover my mouth trying to remain calm, but my watering eyes say something else - 

\- Oh my god, Frank - I inhale trying to calm myself. He checks the street before taking a few steps towards me and I turn off my phone - 

\- I'm alive and you look rough - I blink processing and chuckle feeling heartbroken and hopeful at the same time - 

\- That's what a grenade can do for you - his face is completely dark so I don't know what he is thinking about. I almost forget how big he is or how crushing his silences are - 

\- You didn't leave the army? - I nod crossing my arms. I wonder if Steve has noticed I'm not at the table - Why? 

\- Why would I? I didn't have anything to come home to, I simply continued working - a car passes by and I get a glimpse of his face. He looks tired -I thought you died, I even went to the cemetery every year - he doesn't answer. I bit my lip to stop myself from shouting - I hope all of this has been worth it.

\- You don't wanna ask **why**? - I sigh. He's avoiding my question, so I guess the answer is no -

\- I know you. I won't get an answer and just seeing you alive is enough - he sighs. Why would he fake his death? What has he done these past 3 years? -

\- It is good to see you too - this makes me smile a bit. He shuffles his feet, _oh_ , he wants something - 

\- If you are going to say something, now would be a good time - this feels like a nightmare where you speak to a black void and don't know if you're going to make it -

\- Could you take a bullet from my back? - of course this motherfucker would ask something like that. _Of fucking course_ -

\- You are an asshole, you know that? - I quickly send a text to Steve saying I have to go home and get going -You're lucky I live nearby - he chuckles and I punch him furiously. He doesn't answer the aggression, I guess he's not as stupid as I thought - 

\- I deserved that - I start walking ahead of him. I can't look at him right now -

\- You deserve much worse, Castle - we walk in silence through the dark alley. I'm careful with where I step, I don't wanna embarrassed myself -

\- When did you move away? - we left the alley and cross the street. My building can be seen a couple of meters away -

\- I needed a change - I feel him staring at me but I ignore it. I open the door and call the elevator - 

\- You are less chatty than what I remember - I look him in the eye. We keep looking at each other until the doors of the elevator open - 

\- I'm angry with you - we step inside and I press button 4 - Very angry - he uses most of the space. Was he this beefy before? We arrived at my apartment in silence and I just point to the sofa, before going for my kit - 

\- This is nicer than your old house - he plops down on the sofa and starts to strip - 

\- Whatever, most of it was from IKEA - I open the wardrobe and grab the bag where I keep all my stuff. I haven't touch it since I returned, I don't have good memories attached to it - where? - he points to a mass of new scars. Great - What the fuck did you do? These are all new - I use a cotton pad to clean the blood that's seeping -

\- You remember my scars? - I grab my tweezers and prepare to extract the bullet -

\- Of course - when I think I can see it, I plunge the tweezers and pull hard and steady - 

\- Ow. You used to be more gentle - I throw the bullet next to the bloody cotton pads -

\- Yeah well, I don't care - I sat down next to him and sigh - I'm tired, angry and this fuck hitches - he turns around as soon as I get to remove my peg leg -

\- _Oh_ \- I ignore him and get it off. The scar is red, I should put more cream on it to ease the pain - does it hurt? - the change in his tone makes me look at him. He looks sad, what? - 

\- Not anymore, just hitches - I scratch it softly - so... - I look at him - you can crash in the couch if you want, but first I'll clean the wound - he nods -you can leave if you want, I know I'm not important or anything - he sighs frustrated -

\- That's not what this is about - I clean the wound quickly and move to get up - your leg - I blink and remember. _Fuck_ \- Carmen, I didn't tell you because I couldn't - I study his face -

\- You know what? Okay. I believe you - he shakes his head tired -

\- I didn't want you to end like... - he stops and turns around - 

\- Like **our** family? - I finally stand up - You're not the only one hurting Frank. We're not related by blood but **fuck** , I lost them too. Okay? - his dark brown eyes are rimmed in red. He has bags under his eyes and an unkempt beard - You look worse than me and that's something. Rest for a bit, if tomorrow you're around we'll chat - I go to my bedroom and close the door -

I'm furious. Why would he do that? I hate it. Does he really think he was the only one that lost Maria or the kids? Really? That easy I am to remove from the picture? I plop down on the bed and strip down to my underwear. I'm full of scars like him. I even went to war **with** him. Am I really that expendable? 

I turn and twist trying to get rid of these types of thoughts. It's not their first appearance. Right now I don't know if I want to punch him into oblivion or hug him. I just hope tomorrow he's still around so I can talk with him.

After all, he's all I have left.


End file.
